hi. long time no blog. WOOOOWWW CRAZY. somehow i always manage to remember i have a blogger after about a year, like it's some odd time capsule to write in. i've drafted older posts i find particularly embarrassing, i don't know why i wrote with so much attitude in my voice.
a whole buttload of crap has happened that would make angsty teenage me on this blog suddenly realize her problems were small all along -- but to cut it short : dad's truck got fucked up, only breadwinner of house, out of job for very long long long time, lose lot of money, sell house in a rush, move to texas to be with family, actually kind of hate it there, family hates us, me and mom leave to chicago, my dad abandoned us. my best friend's grandma died, my own grandfather died not long after. my dog went through a uterine infection and nearly died... my best friend's dog died.
AS YOU CAN SEE IT HASN'T BEEN THE MOST PLEASANT YEAR FOR ME OR THOSE AROUND ME, 2025. HAHA.
SOOOOOO. anyways. i live with my uncle now which i cannot even FATHOM how lucky we are to have been able to stay here. i'm not really a strongly religious person but i cannot label this as anything other than a blessing.
those three months in texas really hammered in how much i missed chicago, honestly. it's not the prettiest here, i'll be honest. it's a weird section of area that can't exactly decide if it's suburb or city -- which is basically just city living. but i grew up in a suburb, so it's different to me. i love my uncle's house though, it's very... well, he's gay and a spiritualist. that should clue you in.
texas was REALLY. well. placeless. cement, parking lots, megachurches, not well cared for -- in the sense of its nature. i did like seeing all the muscovy ducks, we had to surrender our chickens and ducks to a neighbour, so it was a bit of home. i was alarmed to see a lack of old trees in a state -- i had never gone somewhere that was strictly trees that were ten years old or less.
speaking of surrendering our chickens, we ended up finding one running around on the road like two weeks ago, so we took her in. we asked neighbours who owned chickens if she was theirs, but all of them said no. she's a sweet little white pullet we named bianca. very social. apparently a neighbour had already seen her roaming around a few days prior, so... we really don't think anyone was looking for her anyways.
i'm back working as a lab aide at my old college job, it's nice to be back though admittedly i do wish i was working somewhere that paid me more (and/or was less restrictive on the amount of hours one can work... greedy) but i'm grateful nonetheless. it's located in a convenient place and i know how things work. i was a little surprised myself to see how much i still remembered, as, last summer (summer of 2024) i left college+my job to prepare for us moving to texas. so i had been out of work for a year.
i've switched majors from animation to accounting, which i'm honestly not mad about. i don't like that i have to have a penny-pinching mindset but the situation for people my age isn't exactly the brightest. also i like hot old businessmen in suits... but i digress.
as of what happened in the nearly two-year gap of me not writing here... well, i went to poland. it was a nice time, i got to see my grandparents. i was surprised to see how popular alternative/emo fashion is there. for a moment i thought everyone was gay -- since, well, it's how gay people fucking dress here! but to my surprise it's just the style right now. i wonder if it's changed much since then.
i also went to new york with my dad--and i think this was the starting point for our relationship starting to crack. i don't really know how to explain it, i hate to sound spoiled but there is a cruel irony in offering a trip to your daughter, potentially out of smugness to prove her wrong?
he hated new york, and looking back on it i think he wanted me to be overwhelmed by it, and hate it too. but honestly? i loved it. i mean, obviously, you're going to have a good time as a tourist.
he wouldn't stop complaining about it or putting us in danger, getting into arguments with street sellers and complaining about the homeless who weren't even doing anything. one time he told me he thought about taking a picture of them... oh, god, i chewed him out so hard for it.
it upset me most when he took me to the met, and i'm a big art girl... just complained about all the art. i don't know, it really just felt like he didn't want me to enjoy it... HAHA.
we went up to canada for two days after that, but i ended up getting violently sick our first day there--so we just ended up driving home after. it was definitely... an eventful period of my life.
i'm doing better now after all this mess, anyways. i've gotten back in touch with an old friend i knew for a brief time when i was into transformers, and we've been talking for about a year now. i've met some cool new people too, similarly have been talking to them for about a year as well.
i also got really, violently into fashion. like most "i want to be rich and move to new york and i'm sooooo skinny i could be anorexic" girls in their twenties wind up doing. i bought jewelry recently. check it....
it's nothing special to some, but i'm really into statement pieces so this was exciting for me. the ebay seller had them for so cheap, too! the highest i paid for anything here was $8!
soo beautiful... to me, anyways. ebay jewelry sellers never, ever price at a thrift-store level -- even for the cheapest, jankiest costume jewelry crap. so to pay for jewelry this unique and in this quantity ...
$50 WITH SHIPPING ?! PLEASE. I'M SO SOLD!
anyways. yeah. honestly i only opened blogger to brag about my awesome fucking ebay haul but it's tradition for me to complain about my life here. and this time i had something reasonable to complain about, so i figured, yeah, fuck it. why not.
i think i will just start bragging about my purchases on this blogger now. if i decide to do that, you will find this post after scrolling past others. so that'll be your answer if i did.
COOL. BYE.
